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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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