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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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