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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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