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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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