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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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